i am broken i am torn i am soo dead now
i duno how come my life can turns up like this now,
after all that i've done.. all is absolutely not like wat i expected before..
i did everything that i can already..
u asked me to change, i've changed..
u said long distance is so hard, i know, i feel the same way too, but i can go to find u, in fact i did just exactly one month ago..i go there just to meet u.. i cannot afford every month go there, but every 2 - 3 months i can, n im really willing to do that..
but thats the choice u made already, break up..
i cant say anything i cant do anything to change it.. even though i said i really wish not to break up, but if 1 person always wan to let go, then i can just swallow my wish alone with pain, wishing u to be happy without me..
so easy for u to just forget everything, how last month we be so close together even though only for a few days..
oh ya maybe only me who feel happy, i never know how exactly u feel that time..
even though i accompany u walk around n round the pc show that time with loads of ppl looking for stuffs that really no interest for me, i also feel happy coz i can accompany u..
accompany u smoke, i also feel happy..
looking at u when u sleeping, im soo happy..
maybe its just me who feel crazy i know i am crazy about u a lot, how stupid stupid am i..
so easy to forget how were we happy together in sg last time..
the photo box pics all that we took, so sweet that it could kill me now..
how i wish i can have those moments back..
that time when we go flyer then u gv me the necklace, i swear its my happiest time on earth..
those valentine candles tat u made, the very pretty flowers, cute gg..everything that u gave to me really can make me think how sweet u r to me..
remember that time we always staying at vera's house..
the first time u ask my hand, first time gv good night kiss to me, really can make my heart jump..
then the next morning when u go to work u also kissed my cheek say good bye, how i wish i can stop the time..
i dunno if u still remember or not.. but i remember every single thing about us..
first time we go out together.. u wear the pink colour shirt we met at ps downstairs..
i dunno if u still got keep our first movie ticket or not..
or still keep my paper stars n birds origami for our 12th day anniversary that time..
last time when we going out when ur thumb got problem, go raffless medical centre when u mc..
we both wear green..
if we go eat sushi always put a lot a lot of wasabi..
always msg me ask for amuse bouche..
last time when work together i always ask u to wash salad.. at night when go back to mrt together remember we ever walk to the other side use the lift that ppl say got ghost with vikas also that time..
when u first time ask my number, when i msg u later on..
how i wish i can turn back time n really cherish the little things that we share together..
i dunno what can i do what should i do already..
i give in so much into this relationship..
i give everything to u..
at last also like this..
haiz....
if i know that the end wil going to be like this, better that we never start at all..
if i know that at last u also never appreciate me, never care about how i feel..
say happy anniversary then talk about break up thing..
how sweet u are!
always say that u r tired of long distance, but do u ever try to get close to me?
to fix the problem?
no right?
u said u dun wan to hurt me again so now break up..
but u hurt me like hell..
i really dunno what motivates me to stand still now..
really really im such an idiot..
everything i do, i cant keep myself not to think about u, about us..
i dunno what can i do to forget everything..
if i can just drink a pill n forget everything..
really forget everything... :'(
to graduate sooner ==
Sherly Gunawan
February 2010